Recently, my girl called me in distress. She had too much to deal with. She is in college...
I have my doubts about an educational system that puts our children through this type of a grinder. The educational process should be an inspirational and creative process, not something that brings depression and stress.
But this post is not about the flaws of the U.S. educational system.
This post is about being able to deal with stress and anxiety. When thinking about anxiety, this revealing formula by Chip Conley comes to mind:
Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness
There is always something that can be done about the right side of the equation. The uncertainty will always be present to some extent.
However, "powerlessness" is not acceptable for the most adaptable creature on earth, the human. You always have to ask yourself, what would I do if the worse comes to worst?
Imagine the worst that can happen in a situation that stresses you. How would you deal with it? Do you have a lawful plan that addresses the worst? If you do, the anxiety will lessen.
Here is the brief email I sent to my child after we talked on the phone about her being stressed and depressed:
Dear X-
When you have time, please listen to this podcast.
You can listen to it when you stroll in the park one of these coming weekends... Make sure that you hear the message.
The story is empowering. Briefly, this is the journey of a driven individual:
extreme poverty - a useless college major - a debt-bound husband - a job, where you learn "on the job" - a six figure salary - the finding of a soulmate - a life of freedom and meaningful existence
Happy listening and do not despair!
BTW, the couple is Trin and Bonnie.
My advice is, in times of anxiety, always think, "...What is the worst that can happen?". If you start thinking and preparing for the worst then you will fare well.
The approach of looking ahead and thinking "What is the worst that can happen?" is very similar to the advice from my first driving lessons. I was in the car with my instructor, a Russian immigrant. We were on the broadest street I have ever driven on, with multiple lanes. This is was my second time behind the wheel. I was freaking out. My hands were tight on the wheel and my eyes nailed on just a few feet in front of the car.
The instructor, noticing my intense stare at the front hood of the car, advised, "Have your eyes way ahead, scanning the road and anticipating what might happen". Now, I "scan" every road I travel.
I also apply the driving lesson in my life. I have learned to scan ahead, looking into the future and putting together plans that may counteract the worst in my life.
