Does misery love company

The last flowers of 2018 from my soggy garden

I finally decided to open up about my misery. I hate people who whine. And yet, this post is more or less exactly this, a public whining.

Recently, I read a post by Tawcan, one of my favorite FI bloggers. He revealed some of his own dark moments.  Going through his narrative felt so familiar to me.

Tawcan also posted this Steve Cutts Happiness animation. Look at the final scene of this short film. One of the million rats on their desks is me. Caught in the money trap. I need money; therefore, I need to continue working no matter how unpleasant the work conditions are.

from Steve Cutts Happiness animation

I have been in a sort of funk since July. A series of small and medium level disasters and bitterness have flooded my days for four months now. The relentless bombardment of blow after blow has left me tired and defeated. None of the "blows" are problems of life or death; however, all are beyond my control. I have to deal with the consequences, not the causes.

What calms me down? Cleaning up my house and throwing things that I can live without, watching Jenny Mustard's YouTube channel.  Sometimes, cooking also feels good. Walking could be a time for reflection (or brooding). What works for you?

Coincidentally, many of my students and colleagues have been stopping by my office to tell me how unhappy they are. Do they sense a fellow in misery? I try to help by asking them about their source of dissatisfaction and anxiety. The most frequent culprits? The lack of "me time", the lack of control over many things in life, the anxiety about the future.

We are all bulldozed by obligations, assignments, tasks. Many of these activities are absolutely unnecessary inventions by people, who have nothing to do all day and therefore, come up with absurd new ways to justify their own salaries and existence. 

But if I want to receive my salary, I have no resort. I need to comply and obey. I need to do all the bizarre things my superiors impose on me every day.  The yoke has become an integral part of my body.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Yoke_(PSF).png

I think that the only source of happiness for me would be plenty of unstructured and unrestrained time on my own. "Unrestrained" suggests free of financial concerns. "Unstructured" means that I can do whatever my imagination wants. Enough time for creativity.

                      happiness = creativity

This is why probably sometimes even cooking is happiness - it is creative time. For example, I cannot wait for try this chocolate granola recipe by Jenny Mustard.  First, I need to get a blender...

Freedom from the everyday annoying red-tape tasks spurs imagination. I remember that in one of her videos, Jenny Mustard shared that she had too many ideas. I believe that this might be the natural state of any person unburdened from imposed unnecessary tasks.

So, anyway, why don't you try to bake something new today?




 

Below is my weekend recipe of creativity.

Peanut butter cookies 
(Disclaimer: I am not sure whether these are cookies, but they are edible)

Ingredients
1.5 cup wheat flour
1.0 cup white flour
2 cups oats
1 ½ tsp baking soda
1 cup (6 oz) applesauce (unsweetened)
4 ripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs
1 ½ cups crunchy peanut butter
optional: cinnamon sugar powder

Directions
Combine the flour, baking soda, and oats. In another bowl, mix the bananas, apple sauce, eggs and peanut butter. Mix the egg mixture with the dry ingredients and with wet hands form 1.5-inch balls. Distribute on cookie sheets lined with parchment paper and press down each ball to a circular shape of a cookie. Bake at 350°F for approximately 18-20 minutes. Optional: sprinkle with cinnamon sugar until warm.  The recipe makes approximately 40 cookies.

My advice is to not try this recipe if you love sweets. Maybe these cookies would taste sweet only accompanied by a cup of black coffee. Of course, you could cheat and add a bit of sugar either in the dough or on top of the baked cookies.